Well, many men and women more learned than I have read their Bibles and come to a plethora of contradicting ideas about the Trinity and the nature of Jesus (i.e. Arius thought the Son was a creation of the Father instead of co-eternal). I had questions and I needed answers. About halfway through my first visit to An Episcopal church I got those answers. In the Nicene Creed, which is recited at almost every Eucharist (though I know someone will point out that this isn't always traditionally the case).
We believe in one God, the Father Almighty, Maker of heaven and earth, and of all things visible and invisible ... And in one Lord Jesus Christ, the only-begotten Son of God, begotten of the Father before all worlds, Light of Light, very God of very God, begotten, not made, being of one substance with the Father ... And in the Holy Spirit, the Lord and Giver of life ... who with the Father and the Son together is worshiped and glorified ...This answered my fundamental questions about the Trinity. Of course the mystery of the Holy Trinity is far beyond the scope of human intellect, this helped. I fell in love with The Episcopal Church (TEC), and I was determined to convert. My parents didn't want that as TEC too closely resembled Roman Catholicism for their liking, but eventually they gave me the green light. At once I soaked up all the information about TEC I could, especially anything Anglo-Catholic. I had a rosary, a St. Augustine's Prayerbook, and a crucifix on my wall. I was set.
Whether I was leading the Christian life or even making a real attempt to be a Christian is another story. My journey out of TEC to other churches and back is also another story. The main focus of this post is how TEC is literally imploding while you would never know it based on what is said on a typical Sunday. My attempts to discuss the growing doom and gloom in TEC with Anglican clergy has been met with the same problem-what-problem? reaction.
Time and time again I've given up on TEC and then gone back because I like a good liturgy. I was sitting in the pew of an Episcopal church I could practically hit with a baseball while standing on my front porch (if I had a good throwing arm) when the bishop said some very questionable things about what Jesus really meant when He said, "I am the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." I wasn't convinced. I really do believe Jesus meant that only He is the say to the Father. What does this mean for the good pagan who has never heard the Gospel? I think the Bible has some answers for that, but basically all I can do is trust God's mercy.
I've always seen TEC as a place for people who have an appreciation for liturgy as well as a sacramental world view without having to acknowledge the authority of the bishop of Rome (that would be the pope). But lately, one Episcopal priest's claim that there is room enough for disagreement within the Anglican world just doesn't do it for me. How much disagreement is healthy? My reading of the Bible says that Gene Robinson shouldn't be allowed to receive Communion let alone hold the office of bishop. Other folks' reading of the same book says otherwise. How can we claim to follow the same religion? I don't know.
So, I'm watching bishops and congregations storm out of TEC while competing churches and communions are being formed. I've visited a couple of those Anglican churches under the authority of foreign bishops and even joined a continuing Anglican church once, but I found them to be either very angry or very confused about their identity. I also found them to be very much like the other splinter groups claiming to be catholic, Anglican or whatever. To reiterate, I'm watching the legitimate Anglican body within the United States fall apart and I hate to see it happen.
On a Myspace group that I'm a member of, someone talked about "frozen" Episcopalians and "progressive" Episcopalians. I can't imagine what side he is on in these difficult times. So, my wife (not an Episcopalian) and I have begun looking for a church where we can worship together. Why am I willing to walk away from TEC? How could I expect my wife to join a church that is in such disarray? And, if I can't expect her to join, then what am I doing there? I can't sit and watch the clergy of the local churches try and pretend the shit ain't sinkin' when the water is up to their eyeballs.
I am hungry and need to be fed wih the living bread. I am thirsty and need to drink living water, not fight in the trenches over what parts of the Bible to agree with or not.
Update: I forgot to mention that the block quote is from the Nicene Creed.
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