Is your church culty?

I used, or perhaps misused, the term cult on a message board one time and was told that an established denomination or church cannot be a cult. Period. I told the person I disagreed, to which I was told, "Well, then you'd be wrong." Wikipedia has a nice article on cults that I think would have shed some light on that disagreement, but I've been doing some thinking on my own since then.

The author of the aforementioned article states that "Secular cult opponents tend to define a 'cult' as a group that tends to manipulate, exploit, and control its members." That definition seems like a pretty good one to me, but when most people think of a cult they think of David Koresh, Heaven's Gate or The Family International. People figure that since their churches don't fit into the same category as those groups that they must be okay. Most people think that a cult is a cult and everything else isn't. If our health was like that we'd either be 100 percent healthy or dead.

The Wikipedia article lists these "key steps" to indoctrinating people into a cult. I will put some of my thoughts about each one and how other groups can act culty.

People are put in physically or emotionally distressing situations.

My experience has been that the religious group in question doesn't necessarily put the person in distress. The person might be in distress because of things going on in his personal life. This can present a golden opportunity for said religious group.

Their problems are reduced to one simple explanation, which is repeatedly emphasized.

If a religious leader or group keeps emphasizing a particular sin or shortcoming in your life, then you might have a problem. It could be that a person is a drug user and that repeated drug use results in a host of problems for the person. In that case the person's problems can be reduced to one simple explanation. However, some religious leaders will put a label on you. That label will serve to invalidate any opinions or objections you raise.

They receive unconditional love, acceptance, and attention from a charismatic leader.

So often a culty church's pastor or head clergyman will make himself available more than you'd think practical or healthy. They want you to talk and talk and talk some more so that you will tell him something he can hang over your head later. Another article I read refers to "love bombing" in which the initiate is overwhelmed with love. They "kill you with kindness" as someone once said. But, if you stray from their way of thinking that love will disappear.

They get a new identity based on the group.

Some churches will give a baptismal name or something like that, but I've seen that become almost like a game. The person gets to be like a sci-fi character who finds a magic robe or wand and is all of the sudden someone else.

They are subject to entrapment (isolation from friends, relatives, and the mainstream culture) and their access to information is severely controlled.

I've seen them get rid of their TVs and talk about how useless it is to be informed about current events. I've seen them dress like they stepped off the stage of a really low budget production of "A Christmas Carol" and I've seen them act so zealous about their religion that they can't talk about anything else. These things tend to push people away. It's sort of self-alienation.

Cults are usually based on a charismatic leader. I've actually seen a culty church operate under two models mentioned in the article. The psycho-pathological model is one in which the leader has a problem and tries to solve the problem through the members. I've actually seen this and experienced it. Also, there is the social model in which people cut themselves off more and more from people who aren't affiliated with the group. One church I used to attend bought some property out in the boonies and intends to build a church there. That's fine, but then they've talked about building a little subdivision out there for their members.

Here are some more practical examples of how a church can be culty based on the above criteria. Again, a church does not have to meet all of the above to be a cult or to be culty.

Your church might be culty if ...

You have to discuss your decision to go to a relative or friend's wedding or funeral with your leader to make sure he is okay with it.

Younger women or girls are encouraged to marry older men so that at least they have their faith in common.

You start to feel isolated from your family, friends or society because the holidays or religious observances keep you out of sync with your family or friends.

You know people who go by a completely different name at church than at home or work. It's not just a different name but it is actually seen as a different identity.

People seek to engage not in dialogue with non-members but in arguments to defend their religion against perceived attacks.

What married couples can do in the bedroom and even when they can do those things is prescribed. A discussion with the leader might be required to hammer out all the do's and don'ts.

Your leader sends you a letter or email filled with flower language but really doesn't say anything. Speech and writing is often grandiose with no content.

You want to get married, but your leader must "interview" your intended marriage partner to make sure he feels it would be a good match. He has veto power.

People are denied serving on councils or committees because of some sin or another. Sure, we shouldn't let a kleptomaniac be the treasurer or an alcoholic maintain the sacramental wine inventory, but often the logic isn't that clear. Often people just get a label and a second class citizenship status just because they opposed some edict of the leader.

If you have a different opinion and you're told that you're jealous or angry just because of your disagreement.

Is your church culty? I'd think about it if I were you.